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Joke of the Day
"How do you make five pounds of fat fun? Add a nipple."
Next Joke
"*gets hit by a car* Passerby: ""ARE YOU OKAY?"" Me: ""Please... I need my... phone"" *opens Twitter* Me: ""LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"""
"What happens when you steamroll Batman and Robin? They become flatman and ribbon."
"What did the O say to the Q? ""Dude, you're dicks hanging out"""
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day Teach him to fish and you get rid of him during weekends."
"What do you call a Scottish lady that wears nothing but a tie? Hentai."
"What kind of fruit can't get married? A Cantleope"
"The only thing I have to say about Bristol Palin ""You're welcome."""
"My Mexican friend was babbling hysterically but I just couldn't understand his panic."
"Walking a straight line and tweeting is hard enough without this asshole shining a flashlight in my eyes."