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Joke of the Day

"A Jamaican is sightseeing in Egypt. A vehicle drives by, beeping its horn. ""Coo yah!"" he says. ""It's tootin' car, mon!"""

"Perks of being a child of divorce Being able to operate Direct TV and Dish"

"Jared Fogle's career ending the same way it started.... Trying to get into smaller pants"

"Cow Joke What do cows watch in the theaters? moovie"

"Why was the mathematician detained at the airport? Because he planned to blow up a plane."

"Subway sandwich artists seem like they'd rather kill their mother with an AIDS hammer than give you extra toppings."

"I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don't like her new haircut."

"A dog and a cat walk into a bar. One starts licking its ass and the other says ""Two can play that game!"" They forget about drinks."

"Ladies: If a man approaches you and he's wearing Crocs, hold perfectly still. Their vision is based off movement."

"Pet Review: Horses Cost: Thousands of dollars Pros: Bragging about owning a horse Cons: Can literally kick your face off, big teeth 1.5/10"