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Joke of the Day

"ADHD is ADD in high definition."

"I'm trying to become a vegetarian so from now I'm only eating seafood. Like lobster, prawns and drowned cows."

"3 women in a bar are comparing how loose they are... One claimed they could fit a sausage, another claimed they can fit a cucumber and the other slid down the bar stool."

"I heard they wanted to do an Asian version of Drive but there's already a movie called Crash."

"I accidentally took 1 of my girlfriend's multivitamins for women & I've been looking at engagement rings & crying uncontrollably for 4 hours"

"When folks unfollow me shortly after they've followed me I just figure they sobered up."

"Of course there's a financial crisis in Greece. How much yogurt could they possibly sell."

"If I donate blood and you're in an unfortunate circumstance of needing it don't blame me for never being able to pass a drug test again."

"Relax white people, black people have the ""N"" word. But we still have words like ""Yacht"", and sayings like ""thanks for the warning officer""."

"What do you call a pothead with two spliffs? Double jointed"