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Joke of the Day

"""what's your most cherished memory keith?"" [looks at my wife and baby in crowd with loving smile] [leans into mic] i heard a dog laugh once"

"17 ways to get rid of click bait This is not one of them."

"The Bible wouldn't sound so preachy if every commandment was followed by the word ""dude."""

"A farmer in (x-town) who rolled over a cart of horse manure... Is reported in ""stable condition."""

"My friend says she's doing good but she means well"

"I always let my phone ring 2 1/2 times before sending it to voicemail so the person calling knows exactly who's in control here."

"Whats similar between a non alcoholic beer and your sisters pussy Tastes right but feels wrong"

"Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf"

"[shower song] Im all outta Dove Im soapless without you I'll never get clean Now that you are all gone *grabs shampoo mic* IM ALL OUTTA DOVE"

"My date thinks he's gonna get me drunk, & then get in my pants. The joke is on him, coz my tolerance is sky high & I'm wearing a skirt."