147655

Joke of the Day

"I would be a bad fish. Fishermen would be like, ""omg i'm so ugly"" and I'd take the bait and disagree, instead of swimming away."

"what's the difference between mean and morbid? mean: five children in one dustbin morbid: one child in five dustbins"

"What idiot called it a tree trimmer instead of a branch manager?"

"Started to travel back in time to kill Hitler, but then I decided to be more efficient and went back and shot Adam and Eve instead."

"Damn Girl, did you just get in a water balloon fight or are you happy to see me?"

"Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving? All the coats are on the bed!"

"This ATM will not give me free money no matter how many times I try the Konami Code."

"Clever Insult joke If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level."

"Poor Jared Fogle The prison Jared Fogle is housed in announced they were serving hot virgin Tom & Jerry's Christmas Day, imagine his disappointment."

"Have you tried rocky mountain oysters? They're offal."