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Joke of the Day

"hey tomorrow you could be hit in the head by a block of cheese so frickin live ur life today before you have to wear ice on ur head tomorrow"

"If I had a nickel for every GEICO commercial I've ever seen, I could buy us all car insurance."

"When is the best time to schedule a Dentist Appointment? 2:30 (Tooth Hurty)"

"George Washington's bark was from the same tree as his bite."

"Put the punchline in another post. http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2l881i/how_do_you_keep_an_idiot_in_suspense/"

"Shania Twain has worn 16 acres of denim during her lifetime"

"Writing a book titled ""Understanding women"". The first page will have a real knife & the rest will show you different ways to kill yourself."

"I slept with the lights on last night because I missed the light switch with all 8 of the Nerf Darts I shot while lying in bed."

"""Dear NASA... ...Your mom thought I was big enough"" -Pluto"

"A magic tractor went down a dirt road And turned into a field."