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Joke of the Day

"[Sunday] God: Finally a day of rest. I could really use a chicken sandwich and a milkshake. *walks up to Chick-fil-A* OH COME ON!!"

"What did the divers find the sunken Korean ferry had hit? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370"

"What's the difference between Mexicans and Jesus? Jesus didn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over *his* body"

"John's mother in-law comes for a visit. So, how long will you stay,mom? As long as i'm welcomed. Oh, that's too bad, you should at least stay for a cup of coffee"

"How do you treat a pain in the ass? Take an asprin."

"Manslaughter: I always used to read it as 'man's laughter'. Seems oddly appropriate for someone who's got away with murder..."

"A Mexican walks into a bar The bartender says ""You can stay, but you must sit behind that wall over there."""

"[NSFW] I got an awesome handjob from my barber after my haircut Just one of the many benefits to cutting your own hair"

"I always eat Eggs Benedict on a foam plate Because there's no plate like foam for the hollandaise."

"How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, ""How many women have you slept with?"" I proudly replied, ""Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."""