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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me our safe-word was too easy to forget I said, ""Ok, let's make it 'harder.' """

"What is the last thing that tickle-me elmo gets before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles"

"My friends say I have a gambling addiction... I bet I don't."

"A group of held hands can raise your spirits. It's seance!"

"Cop to driver: ""How high are you?"" Driver to cop: ""No, no, no. You're supposed to say 'Hi, how are you?'"""

"Why don't Europeans have foot fetishes? they use the metric system"

"What do you call someone who is good at fishing? A Master Baiter."

"If I had wings, I'd spread them and soar like an eagle for about ten minutes then space out on a phone wire with these fat pigeons"

"TIL that my neighbors really like the metal song i'm playing on my 7.1 sound system I figured because he thrown a brick at my window to hear it better ! \m/"

"What did the black dude say when his hippie girlfriend asked him to go to burning man with her? Namaste here"