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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me our safe-word was too easy to forget I said, ""Ok, let's make it 'harder.' """

"Why are giraffe's necks so long? Because their heads are so far away from their bodies!"

"People say filling animals with helium is wrong but i say, whatever floats your goat."

"You can call me a ""simpleton"" if you choose. But I ask you this. What is that. What is simpleton, is that like a good or bad thing, not sure"

"What do you call an exam that a Biology major almost failed? Biodegradable."

"I think the bloke next to me is gay. I'm trying to take a shit, but he keeps giving me looks. I'll try the next urinal."

"So they're bringing in 100 fine for bad driving... How sexist is that? (via Jimmy Carr)"

"Sure I could get off the couch & put new batteries in this remote but instead I am going to hold it high above my head & at different angles"

"Hi, Faithbook! itfs Mike Tyson"

"What's the difference between a strip club and a circus? A circus is full of cunning stunts."