85812

Joke of the Day

"What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common? One dumbass who never pulls out in time"

"Made this joke up when I was 33. Extremely proud of it. Why did the salt fail 3rd grade. Cause it was sodiumb."

"There are two typos of people in the world... ... those who proofread, and those who don't."

"What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress? The size of the tip."

"I saw a Craigslist ad the other day. It said looking to trade: Banana for scale"

"Irony is when you see someone circle around the parking lot 5 times to get the spot closest to the gym"

"What kind of robbery is not dangerous? A safe robbery."

"I finally figured out why Donald Trump married Melania... ...she came from ***YUUUUUUUUUUUUG***oslavia. ~~(thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week)~~"

"What do Ted Cruz and an impotent Japanese man have in common? Neither can achieve an election"

"Two tomatoes cross the street Two tomatoes cross the street. One of the tomatoes gets hit by a car, and the other tomatoe goes ""Aw, come on... Catch up!"""