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Joke of the Day

"What do Ted Cruz and an impotent Japanese man have in common? Neither can achieve an election"

"The guy who invented folding chairs lovingly cares for his product which is a problem for his wife who has season tickets to pro wrestling"

"Screwdriver walks into a bar Bartender says hey man we have a drink named after you? The screwdriver asks ""you have a drink named Steve?"""

"if you're drinking after midnight on a saturday you're really just getting a jump on the church crowd"

"How do you spell ""apathy""? I don't care."

"I got a taxi home tonight.... Driver said ""that'll be 7"". I said ""could you reverse back a bit I've only got a fiver""!"

"Security is going to be heightened at all showings of Star Wars.......... out of the fear of all apple geniuses and IT technicians being simultaneously taken out."

"The interesting thing about the Royal wedding is ... ..... exactly ...."

"I've got an old condom joke I wanted to share on Reddit with you guys... ...but it's already been used once."

"Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous. You're practically begging for typos."