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Joke of the Day

"Jesus tells Peter, ""Come forth and you shall have eternal glory!"" Peter came in fifth and won a toaster."

"When pharmacist gets sick....... Does the doctor give him a taste of his own medicine?"

"Gee this couple posted so many selfies during their trip. They must've had a great time proving us they had a great time."

"Did you hear about the new John Wayne toilet paper? It's ruff tuff, and takes shit from no one."

"*sees a couple of vacuum cleaners making out* ""Ugh, get a Roomba"""

"I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they are using All of them yelled ""get the fuck out of my bathroom you fucking perv!"""

"After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF!"

"What is the most racist type of bread? A biguette"

"*girl calls me daddy* *hammer appears in my hand* ""oh no"" *I start building a deck* ""what have you done"" *grill turns itself on*"

"Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nevermind, it's too long."