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Joke of the Day

"I just spent 38 minutes on the phone w my mother. And she couldn't tell I was drinking. I'm worried about her, now."

"White folk hate math. Especially when they heard in Calculus they'd have to integrate."

"Dad: Remember when I told you Santa wasnt real Me: Yea Dad: There's one more thing Me: Don't say it Dad: Retirement Me: *sobs uncontrollably"

"Sleeping in could easily be my superpower. If not for my arch-nemesis, having to pee."

"What do you call a gay date mixer? A meat-and-greet."

"After my prostate exam.... After my prostate exam, the doctor left. Then the nurse came. At that point, she whispered the 5 words no man wants to hear: ""Who the fuck was that?"""

"At the end of the day, no one needs to worried about the_donald's large scale of support None of them are old enough to vote anyway."

"Life is a lot like chess You've always got to be thinking two steps ahead. And most people want to be white."

"Doctor told me I will die soon. Bastard found out I was banging his wife."

"If I ever get a tummy tuck I'm going to ask the surgeon to make a little pocket below my navel so I'll always have a place for my iPod."