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Joke of the Day

"So I went over to my uncle with a lisp's house He asked me ""hey d-do you w-w-want a d-d-dee-dee-d-d-d-deep-deep-d-deeeeeep freezer?"" I replied: ""Noo thanks buddy that's too deep for me"" [EDIT] Fuck."

"I started microfinancing my money to get better savings. It just made a lot of cents to me."

"We are making our own xmas crackers for the family gathering this year. Got any good jokes we can put in them? Jokes as in ""why did the chicken cross the road"" not as in ""live wasps""."

"If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to ""Widowed"", it's time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible."

"What do you call 1 white guy with 500 black guys The warden"

"It's hot as balls today. And by ""balls"" I mean ""testicles""."

"What do Germans and acetone have in common? They are both good at removing the Polish!"

"What type of bees make milk? Boo bees"

"You can use lemon juice to get the goat's blood out of the drapes. #householdhints"

"I tried to convince the grape that she had dried out... But I just couldn't raisin with her. I'll see myself out."