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Joke of the Day

"What did Sam say to the young Americans? ""Guess where this finger's going."""

"README.TXT Thank you for reading me. (I actually came across this once...)"

"Work tip: if you're going to ask your boss if you can ""work from home"", don't use air quotes."

"Patient: ""Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."" Doctor: ""I've got some cream for that."""

"Always carry a newspaper or magazine so you appear to be preoccupied. - stalker handbook page 2 paragraph 3"

"Got really drunk and had unprotected sex with the cashier at 7-11 last night. Hope I don't catch slurpees."

"if you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out"

"Where can you find Jhene Aiko at Bed Peace? At bed, blunt, and beyond. Bada tssss. I tried."

"We play GTA because it let's us do things we wouldn't even think about doing in real life... Like golf, tennis and yoga."

"He said I was average - but he was just being mean."