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Joke of the Day

"Be right back. -Godot"

"Thanksgiving is probably the only day that there are more searches for ""stuffing"" on Google than on PornHub."

"What is love? You just sang ""baby, don't hurt me."" In your mind didn't you?"

"My wife gets kind of bitchy once a month. It usually lasts about 30 days."

"What do you call a friendly Mancunian midwife? Ultra sound"

"Thought of this one as I was going to the basement. What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping? Ready, aim, make the FIRE!"

"After weeks of being called lazy, not only did I put up all our Christmas decorations today, I also took them down."

"Does your mum like shopping on the Internet? No the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer."

"*bumps into cute girl while typing on calculator* oops! got a bit carried away inventorying my lizards *makes sure she sees the 99999999999*"

"Do they have rehabilitation services for people who are addicted to Kaopectate? Because this shit needs to stop."