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Joke of the Day

"So Boxing Day, its a magical time of year, when companies send you amazing emails with pictures of all the stuff you just brought from them, at half price."

Next Joke
 
"What vegetable has the most sexual self-control? The cuecummer!"
"What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy? ""Oh god, a caucus!"" ^^^cuz ^^^he ^^^has ^^^a ^^^new ^^^england ^^^accent"
"Clever Husband. Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why Three? Husband: It's for you and your parents."
"if the plan is ""eat pancakes now figure out life later"" then yes everything is going according to plan"
"Did you hear about the honeydew and pineapple who tried getting married? The court said they *cant-eloupe*"
"Speed dating? You mean pizza delivered in less than 30 mins..."
"You're a guy, therefore you can't ""hehehehe""."
"I wanted to eat Nicki Minaj's sugary sweet ass like a cupcake... But all I got was an anal cavity :("
"Whats the difference between a hispanic and a book. The book has papers."