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Joke of the Day

"After Luke Skywalker found out Princess Leia was his sister... He became best friends with hand solo."

"I want to start an all Chinese, Iron Maiden cover band It'll be called Maiden China"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child? Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!"

"How do I like my eggs? Unfertilized, thanks."

"What's the difference between my penis and the Three Stooges? Women don't point and laugh at the Three Stooges."

"A man is making moonshine. But the machine isn't working. He goes to see his friend Gino. Gino looks at the machine and says ""That's cause it's a still!"""

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

"*looks at selfie* ""Hmmm I need more flattering lighting"" *tries again inside an unlit abandoned coal mine* ""ahhh much better"""

"If I had a dollar for everytime I said something vague... ...I'd have some money"

"A child's purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals."