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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for everytime I said something vague... ...I'd have some money"

"OK. I just got a text message from a number I don't know. It says: ""I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!!!"" I'm terrified but kind of impressed, too."

"My friend was arrested after carving equations into blocks of quartz He was charged with manufacture of crystal math"

"If you are scared of pedophiles Grow up."

"If the entire observable universe was located inside an impossibly large man named Bob... then 9/11 was inside bob."

"At the motel: Front Desk: And here's your key card sir .. Me: I'd like a wakeup call. FD: You're 20 lbs. overweight and your fly's open."

"What has four legs, feathers, and can fly? Two birds"

"So sorry... Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say... Unless you're Chinese, then it's ""squirrel""."

"I don't see what's wrong with gay marriage It eliminates the worst part of a relationship"

"Why is it so hard to get a mortgage in Columbia SC? All the homes there are underwater"