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Joke of the Day

"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her."

"Somewhere there's a person named Current Resident who has to read every piece of junk mail."

"In Harry Potter, a scar on your forehead means you're a hero. In real life, a scar on your forehead means you got drunk & lack coordination."

"Did you hear about what the medics found on Paul Walker's radio? His face."

"That's a lot of votes Donald Would be a shame if someone deleted them..."

"What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino? A visit from the university board of ethics."

"[interrogation] ""How do u kno the deceased?"" I was his drug dealer. ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs."

"How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? None, the changes necessary will come from within."

"Astrophysicists still struggling to explain the Big Bang Theory: ""It's a corny show! We just don't get it!"" said one astrophysicist."

"How do you know when a Jewish chef is done cooking? You check the oven."