82996

Joke of the Day

"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her."

"""This joke is told through a third persons omniscient point of view."" Said the guy who wanted everyone to know that he had gotten an A in his literature class."

"Sometimes a tough situation is best described... As being between Iraq and hard place."

"I like my women just like my wine... 14 years old and locked up in the basement."

"Rape is not a laughing matter. Unless your raping a clown. (Probably been posted here a 1000 times but it still cracks me up)"

"*grabs knife, cuts forehead, lies on floor* Wife walks in: ""WHAT HAPPENED?"" ""A burglar came in right when I was about to clean the house"""

"The FBI announce Hillary's indictment on April Fools"

"QUESTION: What were the very first straws made of? ANSWER: Straw."

"I asked a meteorologist whether or not it would rain. He said, ""I don't know its up in the air""."

"My friend said that China might be considering assisted suicide for teenagers He's probably wrong, but if he's right, that would mark the beginning of euthanasia of youth in Asia."