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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke Joke Jooooooooke."

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you."

"What do you call a cow's mate? Its significant *udder*."

"When our kids were teenagers we moved; hoping it would help with family strife. It didn't work, unfortunately. They found us."

"I decided to rob a blood bank They caught me red-handed."

"Son, your mother and I looked at your browser history. Frankly, it's not pretty. Do you for real need a walkthrough for Call Of Duty"

"Him: drink? Me: I have a boyfriend Him: I have a goldfish Me: What??? Him: I thought we were talking about shit that don't matter"

"The Trump Years in a Nutshell 2016: Trump doesn't stand a chance. 2017: Trump's still trying? 2018: ""Hey, are you guys going to watch the hunger games tonight? I hope my district wins"""

"My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor."

"Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ? Because he had his own scales !"