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Joke of the Day

"What's a python's favourite pop group ? Squeeze !"

"My finger became really swollen after I jammed it Friday. And thats how I found out Im allergic to jam."

"Damn, girl, did you lose weight? Because it's caught up to you."

"Chivalry isn't dead. He's just sleeping. Right, chivalry? CHIVALRY!?"

"My wife and I have agreed on a trial separation. The kids aren't to keen, but my wife and I just don't want them anymore."

"This guy just scrolls through his Facebook page... And then he notices that ""Steve (Minecraft) has blocked you."""

"Sorry I headbutted you, I was gonna punch you but, I was holding wine."

"Wife holding bank statement: What's this payment? Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly? M: No, it's just for the one skydive"

"Apparently there was a new episode of ""Biggest Loser"" on tonight... Indianapolis Colts edition."

"When is a Mexican not a Mexican? When he's an alien! I'll see myself out now"