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Joke of the Day

"Listen, I'll let you borrow any Disney movie I've got except for one. I'm never gonna give you Zootopia. I'm a fucking furry. *Gotcha!*"

"Monogamy is having one spouse. Polygamy is having more than one spouse. Monopolygamy is marrying the Monopoly Guy."

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The rooster did."

"What do you call an anorexic blonde with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese !"

"A college lecturer asks his students who is poorer... A man with $1000 but is $750 in debt, or a man with $250. The hall is silent for a moment, then a student stands up and answers ""Me."""

"My girlfriend's daughter was laying across my legs. Me: What am I a pillow now? Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding."

"What dog has money? A bloodhound because he is always picking up scents (cents)."

"What's a great dating app for pedophiles? Tindergarden"

"Alcoholics don't run in my family... They stumble around breaking things"

"My baby just said ""mommy"" instead of ""daddy"" First word problems"