56671

Joke of the Day

"judge: ""you have chosen to defend yourself, is that correct?"" me: [muffled from inside full suit of armour] ""that's correct"""

"How do you say ""No, I'm full"" in Grandmother?"

"Lots of grandfather jokes. Here's his favorite. My uncle. He hates my dad. My uncle is his favorite joke."

"A man walks into a bar Ouch!"

"What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity? ""Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."""

"Where on LinkedIn do I add my current gang memberships"

"Everybody is complaining about their significant other, and I'm over here trying to keep mine charged above 10%."

"Two nuns in a bath... The first nun asks the other ""Where's the soap?"" The other replies ""It does, doesn't it?"" Edit: Punctuation"

"Tonight's Menu: Gourmet pork blend sausage with organic tomato reduction, served on warm split bread rolls. AKA: Hot dogs with ketchup."

"Whenever there is injustice in the world, Americans will rise up and retweet a hashtag."