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Joke of the Day

"Why is it ridiculous to believe I communicate to the world in 140 characters but not ridiculous to believe I created the world in six days?"

"ME: Off to the concert with my friends WIFE: Say hi to everyone for me [later] ME [individually saying hi to 10,000 ppl] This is exhausting"

"Vin Diesel's full name is Vintage Dieselengine."

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those who understand binary, those who do not understand binary and those who did not expect this joke to be in ternary."

"I turned 18 today so the first thing I did was your mom"

"My son is a real hand full. I didn't have any tissues handy."

"Taking that CPR class before Highschool... Led me to believe that choking and strokes would have occurred more often that I thought."

"What's a hipster's biggest problem? You probably haven't heard it."

"We've run out of coffee so my girlfriend pressured me into knocking next door. So I knocked and awkwardly asked them to go to the shops."

"A Jewish boy asks his father for 50 bucks. What the hell are you going to do with 30 dollars? Why do you want 10 dollars?"