218578

Joke of the Day

"A Jewish boy asks his father for 50 bucks. What the hell are you going to do with 30 dollars? Why do you want 10 dollars?"

"I hope I never have to produce an alibi...cause eating salsa in bed with my cat every night would never hold up in court."

"What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve? Social Security."

"I regret to inform you that I've had better lays from a bag of chips."

"How I knew my GF was playing with herself on her period... I caught her red-handed."

"What does a gay horse eat? Dick."

"The Olympians stories are amazing! The Ukrainian whose family was killed, the Korean who escaped slavery, the American who never had wifi."

"I just responded to a text message with: I can't hear you, you're breaking up"

"I think Newton was actually hit by pigeon shit when he discovered gravity.. Falling of apple was just a 'dignified' cover up...!!"

"For $11, you can come to my house and watch me shave. The plot is a little weak, but the 3D effects are amazing."