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Joke of the Day

"How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb. Two. One to hold the light bulb and the other to hold the penis. I mean mother. Shit, I mean ladder."

"""Could you take a couple steps back. I have a nut allergy."""

"Dear Boyz II Men, please change your name to Men II Old Men."

"Lawyers are safe company to have for girls. They will be concerned about Your Honour more than their own."

"[Spelling bee] Judge: ""Your word is unhelpful."" Kid: ""Can you use it in a sentence please?"" Judge: ""Nope."""

"What do you call a woman with one nipple? Titty Wap."

"A man works hard to name an interval equal to 24 hours. so he calls it a day."

"Why are pirates called pirates? Because they AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!"

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know yet. My Basement is still dark."

"Last night I was visited by the ghost of Gloria Gaynor At first I was afraid. I was petrified."