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Joke of the Day
"I love women so much that.. If I were a woman I'd be lesbian."
Next Joke
"Growing up, mum was always like a beautiful bird. She would fly away and when she returned many hours later she would puke everywhere."
"How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit."
"How many points do I get if I hit a Pokemon player with my car?"
"[bedroom] Her: omg don't stop Me: what was that? Her: *sighs* Simon says don't stop"
"My girlfriend asked me if I wanted to reheat the leftover turkey from last night's NYE dinner. I told her I quit hot food, cold turkey"
"My friend has Tourettes. He doesn't have a bank account. He has a swear jar."
"Did you hear about the millennial pharmacist that got fired? They fired him because he didn't believe in labels."
"What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? There have been reported sightings of bigfoot"
"Aww... Nuts What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts What do you call nuts on your chin? Dick in your mouth *I'll see myself out...*"