85137

Joke of the Day

"People you mute should stay in your TL but with a piece of tape over their avatar mouth and their tweets all like ""Mmmp mm mmmph rf mph."""

"Can a ninja kill you from 20ft away? Sure he can."

"Timmy walks in on his mother getting dressed... Now you're thinking of the time you saw your mothers breasts."

"Diet diary, day 3 I am so proud of myself, I refused to eat the birthday cake. But the cup cakes were amazing."

"On the holidays I got quite drunk and being responsible decided to take a taxi home It's still in my backyard what do you guys think I should do with it?"

"Golfers always bring two pairs of pants to tournaments Just in case they get a hole in one."

"Engineers How do you tell if an engineer is an extrovert? They look at *your* shoes while they talk to you."

"What did the pumpkin pie say to the cheesecake as they were going into the oven? I think this is a set up!"

"Bruce Willis is working on the 5th Die Hard movie! They should call this one ""Just kill me already!!!"""

"You know what's better than Tennessee? Elevennessee."