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Joke of the Day

"I like when a girl wears a pearl necklace But only for the first 10 seconds or so. You know, before it's hard and crusty"

"Where is Engagement, Ohio? Between Dayton and Marion."

"A salmon that jumps on the hook for ya http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdAoQvqh7eY"

"My new book about doing your own hair color is a total flop. I haven't sold one copy of A Guide to Dying Alone"

"Toast is just bread that likes to party."

"Have you heard about the recent abnormal growth in cancer clinics? There are tumor down the street."

"Ziiipppp, zip, zip, zip, ziiiipppp! *Me, dramatically ending a marital spat during a camping trip"

"Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate much interest."

"16 sodium atoms walks into a bar.... followed by Batman."

"Why doesn't Meghan Trainor eat salmon? Because she's all about that bass"