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Joke of the Day
"What is the funniest two legged lizard? The stand-up chameleon."
Next Joke
"I asked my friend if it was intended for him to cheese the pizza joke. ""Nope Unintended"""
"Whatever, Twitter makes me a safer driver. Now I stop at every red light, even the lights that I think may change in the next minute or two."
"What is the definition of a Freudian slip? when you say one thing and mean a mother. Don't remember where I heard it. Haven't read it here yet."
"You say tomato, I say summertime snowball."
"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef!! What do you call a cow with two legs? YOUR MUM!!"
"Why don't the French enjoy travelling to Northern Ireland? Because they don't like the smell of Derry air."
"If attacked by a pack of clowns.... Go for the juggler."
"I lost my watch at a party once... Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the guy, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl...not on my watch."
"I'll try to explain the concept of lubricated soap.... ...but its quite difficult to grasp."