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Joke of the Day

"I lost my watch at a party once... Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the guy, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl...not on my watch."

"Im the guy that says ""Is he bothering you?"" when some douche is hitting on you, just so I can hang around and bother you after he goes away."

"Why are there so few black hockey players? Because there was no cotton in Canada."

"Every organisation is perfectly designed to get the results they are getting."

"Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying ""The court room sketch artist is so hunky."""

"I think my wife came from Ikea Cause she came with extra parts that I didn't know about"

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns... But I soon realized that toucan play at that game."

"What was Eve charged with after murdering Adam in the Garden? Being a first-person shooter"

"I have an awful lot of shampoo and conditioner for a single bald dude"

"Do not judge a book by its cover, unless there's a Swastika on the cover"