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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a poodle humping your leg and a pit bull doing so? The pit bull gets to finish."

"I went to an airport the other day. As I was about to catch a plane, I thought ""My dog would be proud."""

"What's the difference between driving in fog and eating pussy? When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you"

"What did the chinese guy tell the police when he was caught? You got the Wong guy."

"Pete and repeat are in a boat Pete and repeat are brothers. Pete falls overboard, who's left?"

"I can't believe it. I saw on the news where a midget got pick pocketed in broad daylight...how could anyone stoop so low?"

"What did Russians use for light before candles? Light bulbs"

"Why are the majority of school shooters white? Because the black kids don't wanna get kicked off the basketball team."

"I took a photo of the thing I use to play my guitar. It was a lovely pic."

"If you were a Canadian and I were a Canadian and we bumped into each other, who would apologize first? I'm not a Canadian so get out of my fucking way! I'm Walking Here!"