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Joke of the Day

"Why are the majority of school shooters white? Because the black kids don't wanna get kicked off the basketball team."

"Awful chat-up line: ""Did your mother have zika virus?"" Because I like a little head"

"[Lie detector] ""You claim you can move an object by saying just one word. Is this true?"" - Yes *needle going nuts* ""I, sir, have been owned"""

"Whats the difference between a pussy and a freezer? The Freezer dosen't fart when you take the meat out."

"<at a baptism> *leans over* Me:What's the WiFi password? Him:Jesus Christ, dude! Me:That makes sense....is it case sensitive?"

"I love going to the park and watch the kids run and scream But they don't know I'm just using blanks"

"I wish I had the exciting social life my mom must have envisioned when she used to stitch my name into my underwear."

"Why should you never date a French Horn player? Because every time you kiss, they'll try to shove their fist up your ass."

"What did the left butt cheek say to the right one? If we stick together, we can stop this shit."

"My first ever degree... ...is in measuring angles!"