84994

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd? One says, ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"" The other says, ""Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!"

"Why DOES ""February"" have that extra R? It should just be ""Februay."""

"Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash. Mind if we shared a cab home?"

"I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting"

"How do you say unicorn in Spanish? Unamaize"

"I'm not saying she's a slut, but if she had as many dicks sticking out of her as she did in her, She'd be a porcupine!"

"What happened to the two mad vampires? They both went a little batty."

"She'll be coming around the Mountain when she comes. - Mountain bragging."

"I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10 am. I'm not that much of a mourning person."

"So God, a Jew and a Zombie walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey Jesus"""