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Joke of the Day
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Next Joke
"New low: Looking in my purse and seeing my TV remote."
"People who knock on my front door really need to give up these unrealistic expectations that I'm going to answer"
"Just got home and found all the doors and windows wide open and everything gone... What kind of sick person would do this to my Advent calendar?"
"Mom, have you seen my turtle? Your friends took it outside to play. They're cracking walnuts."
"What do you call a lesbian octopus? A lickalotopuss."
"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? It would have been called a teeth brush anywhere else."
"What do you call a lizard that doesn't work? A reptile dysfunction."
"Me: Can't. I'm exhausted from all the CrossFit this morning. Him: It's pronounced 'croissant' & how the hell did you eat the entire dozen?!"
"Why did the whale cross the road? To get to the other tide."