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Joke of the Day

"I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him GOD, I hope he calls me."

"Do you know that horrible feeling of guilt when you eat all your kids candy? Me neither."

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him.. heh"

"Did you hear about the blind circumsiser? He got the sack."

"Airbags are srs business ....anyone?"

"Looks like I'm finally going to meet my twitter crush, don't know if I should diet or let him find out the hard way Im good w camera angles"

"No thanks, babies. If I'm going to let something inside of my body that's going to destroy my figure, it'll be cheese, bread and booze."

"Our gold fish jumped out of his tank and the dog ate it.....I feel like there is a life lesson here but don't know what it is."

"What's the difference between a Porsche and a Porcupine? A Porcupine has the pricks on the outside"

"Be thankful for Twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we're never going to meet real people ever again."