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Joke of the Day

"Hey Hollywood, time to start using a new fake phone number. This 555 bullshit takes me out of the moment every time."

"Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth...and drink all the vodka inside. It seems to help"

"Q: Where does the catcher sit for dinner? A: Behind the plate."

"What is a pirates favorite letter? R? No it be the C!"

"What kind of computer can sing? A Dell."

"If I go to your place for the first time, unless you live in a castle, please don't ask me if I want a tour."

"What's the difference between Jews and Boy Scouts? Boy Scouts get to leave the camp."

"Why do you never see an elephant hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it."

"Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day? - A: Mice cream"

"Why couldn't the blonde make icecubes? because she lost the recipe."