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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day? - A: Mice cream"

"Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione? She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor."

"I don't think Major Tom was much of an astronaut - Ground Control had to tell him to put his helmet on, FFS. That's pretty basic stuff."

"Guess who I bumped into at Specsavers Everyone"

"We trace hands to make turkeys. Quite a handy technique."

"I'm learning about imaginary numbers... I can finally plot my sex life."

"What does grandma's crotch smell like? Depends"

"Who decided smiling would be the default expression for pictures?"

"I just returned from a concert put on by the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra... ... ... Half way through, the guy on the triangle disappeared."

"What are the three fastest means of communication? Internet telephone telawoman."