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Joke of the Day

"Good night everyone. There's a pillow with my name on it. It's a long story. But basically, I had a brief obsession with needlework."

"Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!"

"Wifi was down so had to talk to my gf. She seems nice."

"How To Avoid Dating You're too young for me. I'm too young for you. I don't date men my age. Okay, but after I finish my antibiotics."

"What's the German guy say when you kick him in teh crotch? Oof, weinerpain!"

"Sometimes when I'm alone in my room I squat down, grab hold of my ankles and lean forward. Coz that's how I roll."

"At this point I feel like MTV is just trying to scare old people."

"You mama's so skinny ....she can hang glide with a dorito!"

"Smiles from ear to ear. Wife: what are you smiling about? Our dog just took a giant dump in our neighbors yard Wife: God I love that dog."

"What is it that is yours , but others use it more than you ? Your name"