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Joke of the Day
"At this point I feel like MTV is just trying to scare old people."
Next Joke
"They say that there are rising levels of LGBT population in Spain... There's not a day goes by that a Deigo's Bi"
"[takes e-cig from guy beside me & takes a hit] dude, your e-cig is broken GUY BESIDE ME: give me back my clarinet"
"How do you piss off a fanboy? Kylo Ren kills Dumbledore."
"A woman just asked me if I'd like to help fight bigotry today but she was holding a clipboard so I said no."
"Daughter: Daddy, why is the moon following us around? Me: I probably owe it money like everyone else on the planet"
"Its march already Life is marching forward"
"""Was this car tested on animals?"" ""sir animals can't drive"" ""will this car enable animals to drive?"" ""No"" ""SO YOU DID TEST IT!"" ""god damnit"""
"Bought that new Mac Book Pro today. Apparently they crush up 100 Japanese children's retinas too make the display. Or something. I zone out."
"What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee"