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Joke of the Day

"A Star Wars Joke(No Spoilers) Why was Han yelling at Chewbacca on their first day on the Millenium Falcon? . . . Because Chewie was making too many wookie mistakes!"

"I hate it when candidates put signs on your lawn without even asking your permission. Who the hell is 'Foreclosure'?"

"I'm not racist, I hate ALL black people."

"Mum are the Smiths very poor people? I don't think so Jimmy. Why do you ask? Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin"

"Did you hear what happened when there was an epidemic of laryngitis at school? The school nurse sent everyone to the croakroom."

"I love Christmas lights! ... they remind me of politicians. They all hang together, half the buggers don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright!"

"If you've been kind to nature, birds will rescue you through your sunroof in a traffic jam and fly you to their kingdom"

"Before I had kids I was going to be an awesome mom."

"Whenever I have sex, it's always a race to see who cums first.... Me or the police."

"School is like a boner It's long and hard unless you're asian."