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Joke of the Day

"Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch."

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"The only good mornings are the ones that start in the afternoon."
"What do you call a bouncer at a gay club? A flamethrower"
"I'm sorry I said your baby looks like a hairless hamster. But in my defense, you shouldn't have had a hairless hamster for a baby."
"I adopted a rock. He just sits there and does nothing all day. It still beats raising Kylo."
"[30 Days of Christmas Jokes] Why was Santa's little helper sad? Because he had low ELFesteem"
"99 bugs in my code, 99 bugs in my code... Take one down, fix em' around, 404 bugs in my code."
"The search for Flight 370 was declared ""The most difficult in human history."" Amelia Earhart could not be reached for comment..."
"A show about a vampire glee club's exploits in 1960's New York. You're welcome, Hollywood."
"Why does a rapper need an umbrella? Fo' drizzle."