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Joke of the Day

"What's 69?... (NSFW) A great sexual position. What's 6.9? A great sexual position interrupted by a period."

"The only qualification for working at an airline is making a confused face at a monitor."

"My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort."

"Can't wait for Game 8 of the World Series, Indians vs the Dakota Access Pipeline"

"What does a mexican magician make for breakfast? Toast-tah-dahs!"

"I was in a bank yesterday and all the money just floated out the door by itself. It was a polterheist."

"What did the velociraptor say after his workout? I'm a little dino-sore."

"Who won the first Tour de France? I don't know his name, but I know he was in a German tank."

"[SPELLING BEE] JUDGE: Tim, your word is ""Oak"" TIM: [deep breath] Ok *BUZZER* T: What th J: So close! It's O-'A'-K T: But... J: Hard luck, kid"

"if ur at a party and there are two dogs there, make sure the dogs dont start hangin out with each other or else u'll hav nobodey to talk to"