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Joke of the Day

"I went to an Anti- Abortion rally... Their slogan was ""our movement is unstoppable, they will never defetus"""

"the divorce rate among my socks is astonishing"

"TIFU by burning my post oops, retoast"

"Cat Negotiator: Ok, so we'll shit in a box in your house and you will clean it up Humans: And you will be a loyal friend Cat: hahahaha sure"

"My husband is half Mexican half Polish. Last week he stole his own hubcaps."

"What do an alcoholic and a necrophile have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one."

"Help! I accidentally swallowed a mint! Never mind, I'm cool now."

"Do you know how to tell if a date rapist put a roofie in your drink? Wanna beer?"

"How do you annoy a computer person with a problem? Never mind, I figured it out."

"I was just outsmarted by a revolving door but sure, I'll be your baby's godmother."