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Joke of the Day
"I fell asleep in the shower last night I guess you could say I had a few wet dreams"
Next Joke
"What makes perfect sense? The U.S. mint (cents)"
"Some people get paid to make fish puns... I just do it for the halibut."
"What kind of health insurance does a llama need? Ollamacare"
"Watching Jon Stewart Feb. 4th Turd-accino, Jon really? It was right there in front of you!!!"
"To convert Celsius to Fahrenheit to double Celsius and add thirty. To convert someone to Mormonism you double the wives and add 17 kids."
"Do you have a hole in your sock? ""No ..."" *(looks at sock)* . . How'd you get your foot in it?"
"[out in public] Me: A kid is crying. Wife: It's not one of ours. [we fist bump]"
"Your jokes are only as funny as someone else's sense of humor."
"What fruits do vampires eat? Blood oranges."