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Joke of the Day

"watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. you're welcome"

"How do you make a latte? Add $5 to a cup of coffee."

"What does a fat girl and a pallet of shingles have in common? ...they both have a 90% chance of being nailed by a Mexican."

"Iguana... tap it, but I have a reptile dysfunction."

"Q: How do you tell a brown bear from a grizzly bear? A: Climb a tree. If the bear climbs up and eats you, it's a brown bear. If the bear knocks the tree down and eats you, it's a grizzly."

"A Pagan sees a particularly shocking event ... ""Deer *god*!"""

"In order to say you're ""born again"" you should have to spend a week on a cross or 9 months in a vat of amniotic fluid."

"The shortest joke ever Two women were sitting quietly."

"[Gone for an hour] Boss: Where have you been? Me: There was a new roll of toilet paper in the bathroom and I couldn't find the beginning."

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him what period"