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Joke of the Day

"There are two things i hate a lot 1. Lists 2. Irony"

"When a friend is about to hand me her baby, I deliberately drop my phone while yelling ""DAMN SO CLUMSY!"" and wait as she changes her mind."

"INTERVIEWER: Any questions for me? ME: How do I access the WIFI? INTERVIEWER: I meant about the job ME: Is that all capital?"

"I need hug(e amount of money)."

"If you want to stop a bad habit... eat a cyanide capsule"

"Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago ? Pupil: Me !"

"4: Let's hunt turkeys, Daddy. Me: How do we do that? 4: Put up a big sign that says, ""Come here, Turkeys!"" I might be raising Elmer Fudd."

"If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot..."

"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in the South? Because if it were invented in the North, it'd be called the teethbrush!"

"Q: Why are manhole covers round? A: Because if they were square, you couldn't play twiddlywinks with them."