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Joke of the Day

"This guy on the subway has piercings on both sides of his neck. Mary Shelley would be so proud of her modern influence."

"If you see a dentist get shot and hes bleeding out, just casually mention how he needs to floss more so he doesnt bleed out like that"

"The girls I meet in bars have the worst pickup lines. They're like, ""Hey, what's your friend's name?"" Never works on me ladies."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff ba-dumm-tss"

"What kind of fruit tells the best jokes? A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me."

"Running a custard factory has its challenges You really go through thick and thin."

"I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass."

"Selfie Stick - Picture taking device used when the internet has made you so socially awkward you can't ask a stranger to take a pic for you"

"getting my hopes up only to become even more disappointed dot edu"

"I'm having a hard time trying to decide on which pencil to use for my English literature exam. 2B or not 2B - that is the question."