84055

Joke of the Day

"Such double standards. My wife sleeps with like 10 pillows and I don't get mad but when... I pull out my dakimakura she threatens with divorce."

"emo vs obama emo has a gun and obama has a ball to wow the crowd with but the ball has a spike on it"

"Why was the man hanging out in the market all day? I don't know, but it was pretty bazaar"

"What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman knew his parents before they were shot."

"A man comes into a bar No, wait, it was a horse. So a man comes into a horse..."

"Vincent van Gogh called... He wants his ear back... so that he can hear you on the telephone."

"I like my rum like I like my women Twelve years old and mixed up with Coke."

"I have a good friend who was retired but he needs extra $$$ so he took a job as a taxi driver. Last night, he pulled out to avoid a kid. ... and fell off the sofa."

"Why did the vegetable band break up? They couldn't keep a beet."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee *before* it was cool. :-)"