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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend has twin 3yo girls. They each have a sippy cup with their names on them. When she's not looking, I switch the cups."

"Assorted s a/e x jokes Remember to always practice safe sax We don't suck we blow wet the butt, wiggle, and blow"

"Why does 7 make 6 nervous? 7 is his plus one, but she's bigger than he is."

"Fred: What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!"

"Where will the Womens World Cup final be held? Kitchen Stadium"

"(Me playing guitar) 3: Daddy what's this song called? Me: Going Nowhere. 3: I know that but what's this song called? Burned by a 3yo."

"The dogs bark but the caravan moves on."

"I played a blank CD full blast on repeat all night last night. The mime next door went nuts!"

"BREAKING: California becomes first state to ban plastic bags. People who love picking up dog shit with their bare hands rejoice."

"Why did the hippie drown? He was too *far out*!"